Saturday, June 28, 2008
280608 - Ironic
Rollercoasters can't always only go up all the time, can they?I climb down, only to face yet another challenge. Another mile. Another mountain.
Things used to be going so well. I hadn't even realized things had changed. It just suddenly did. I used to smile, used to laugh. But now, whenever I speak, even an idiot can clearly see that there is no life.
I hadn't realized it, really, I hadn't. It just happened, yeah.
I suddenly started taking everything seriously. I even handed in my homework on time, for goodness' sake. That. Is. Not. Me.
There are no ideas flowing anymore, I feel left out of everything.
Well, I feel lonely, I suppose. No people like me at school. No one I can really relate to. The people who I can actually talk to are, one, in another school, two, in another country.
How ironic.
And, I just really can't wait to move to Centris next year, yeah. I'll be living opposite/beside Ryan. Miss him lots.
Almost everyone is my primary school class have made other friends, moved on. Why can't I? Why do I keep holding onto these bonds when obviously, they have all let go.
Speaking of Fox, he's gonna get his tonsils removed. Poor guy. But on the bright side, at least he can eat all the ice cream he wants when the surgery's over.
Oh man... And with the upcoming Drama Events, I'm in for hell.
Racial Harmony Day. SYF. CIP. Shine Camp. Teacher's Day. Speeh Day. And Gradautaion Day.
And one minute in a skit is about one hour of practice, that's what Ms Kaur said.
I repeat, I'm in for hell in the rest of the coming semester.
Posted by B at 7:22 PM
Friday, June 27, 2008
270608 - How Fitting
Today was fun. Sorta. ^^Yeah, so we had Exercise time. Ran 9 rounds. ^^ And congrats to Mr Samuel Lim on winning one of the four most caring teacher awards! ^^
English, then science. And then recess. Did some tattoo tracings Ayrton gave me. He's teaching me to be a tatooist, for those of you who don't know. And in about 2 months, I'll be a tattooist, able to work the machine! ^^
Then mothertongue. Then finally, history. Mrs Seng finally recognized me as the "the girl from drama". She couldn't before because I had short hair. XD She's in charge of this year's racial hamrony day. Which the sec ones of the drama club are working on.
We did the script. But I had to go home coz mom was waiting for me in the carpark. So I quickly did some dialogue and left. And then, hopefully, Sherlyn will remember to send me the script.
Oh, and, I'm a guy in the play.
How fitting, eh?
Posted by B at 7:48 PM
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
250608
I caught a glimpse of the old us today, in the class. I really want that back. Things in class now are so awkward. I asked those 'neutral' people, those who had no real group of friends like myself. Guurpreet, Jia Lin, they can feel the pressure too.They can feel that somehow, the girls and guys are into their own groups again, just like the first month of school. We are not... United 1N2. We are now Fallen 1N2.
But today, when I finally spoke to Ernest and Guan Yuan and when we were taking our class photo, I caught a glimpse of what we had before the holidays.
Now, I know I will never be able to fit in with my class, that's dead certain. But, I just wanna be able to have fun with them like before. How'd we play Truth or Dara and end up laughing till there were tears in our eyes. That's all I really want. Really.
Why are things so strange now?
I don't how to react or even know what to do.
I don't know...
Posted by B at 4:39 PM
Monday, June 23, 2008
240608 - Dead Cat
200th Post. ^^Yesterday's first day of school. Belle's Status: Dead
I WANT MY HOLIDAY BAAACCK!! Anways, seats changed. I'm still sitting where I am except the 2nd most loudest (I'm first), my fellow musketeer, Shobana is now sitting beside me. ^^
Started with Home Econs. And FINALLY, emphsize on FINALLY, our jerseys have arrived. Wearing it right now. I'm so proud of my design.
Had our first History 'lesson' today. Just got to know the teacher, yeah. I think I'll like History yeah... Mrs Seng seems like a fun teacher. ^^
Drama after school. Slacked all the way until 3. Slack, I really mean slack... No seniors, no teachers, just the sec ones yeah. So Faith and I had some fun with each other.
At 3, took CCA photo. At 3:30, we started drama club. Researched on 1940's music in the library computer lab. Then left at 5:30. So, that's all.
Yesterday, I saw a cat. I was walking home. I thought it was sleeping, so I went up to it and made a little meow and it did not respond. Hmm, shocking. Then I saw a leaf in front of it's face and there was blood on it.
Blood. Real, dark, crimson blood. The cat's eyes were open, I realized... And it didn't respond to my 'meow'. Adding all that together, I came to one conclusion.
Dead cat.
I then noticed the areas around the cat, there was lots of leaves with blood on them. I looked at it from the other side and saw it's wounds...
I immediately walked away, trying to erase the image from my mind. *Shudder*
Here's a little tribute to kitty. XD Ta-dah, the cats' cousins: tiger.
Posted by B at 9:48 PM
Saturday, June 21, 2008
210608
I wonder if there are grounds as to what I am endeavouring...I intuit very idle and inane, yeah. I recognize what it is, only, I cannot decipher it.
Or maybe I can. But won't.
Someone, please succour me.
I need to confabulate with someone. Audaciously.
Posted by B at 11:43 PM
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
180508
Okay, finally, I'm posting after a five days' absence. So I'll be summarizing 5 days' worth of blogs now... Alrighty, here we go.Saturday
Celebrated Father's Day and my grandmother's birthday at my aunt's work place. They have a pool table, foo ball table and the adults spent the day singing karaoke.
Monday
Um... What did happen on Monday?? Oh yeah... Missed out on a early morning prayer meeting. Some cell group members came over for dinner. Lasagna. ^^ Played Taboo and games, yeah.
Tuesday
Prayer meeting at 7:30 in the morning. Left the church at 8:30. Ayron pressured me into going for fellowship so I did.
Some fellowship...
Got home at 10+
Then went out for a movie with mom, Ayrton and Jaslin. KUNGFU PANDA! ^^
TODAY
Woke up at 12+. Played computer and video games with Ayrton. CONTRA! ^^
Then was 'forced' to go out by Ayrton. He said it would be real quick. Just go to Vivo, get the fengshui book and hurry back...
Liar.
Went there, and got home at 8...
And I didn't even have any dinner.
At least I got a nice jacket ^^
Nothing much to report and all...
Oh, and something from Kungfu Panda:
Yesterday is history
Tomorrow is a mystery
Today is a gift, that's why it's called the present.
^^
And here is a pic to Naruto fans reading ma' blog. Don't think there are any though... Well, my favourite is the silver-haired immortal. 1st column, second one. ^^ HE'S FRICKING IMMORTAL!
Posted by B at 8:12 PM
Friday, June 13, 2008
130608
Okay, I know it is officially saturday already. But I will still write what I did yesterday into present tense so it ain't so confusing. Alright, here we go.I went on a wild rampage today! A wild OC drawing and fanfiction writing rampage! Fanfiction, all one shots. ^^
I just kept drawing and drawing and drawing. And typing and typing and typing.
AND AND AND! Sweedney Todd: Demon Barber of Fleet Street is an awweesooome movie! LOVE JOHNNY DEPP! ^^
Woke up at 11+ today and started on the computer! Slept at like... 4+ last night(this morning). Jeremy was here last night. We played Bingo, Snakes and Ladders, then I fought Jeremy in DJ Max again. And then later watched Ayrton play FEAR and then we played a game called Raven Hearst together. ^^
Then around 3+, went into Ayrton's room and watched Shrek the Third. Jeremy fell asleep first. Then Ayrton. Then I got tired so I got up and left. And although I was the last to sleep, I was the first to awake. And althouh Jeremy was the first to sleep, he was the last to awake. XD
Mostly played Raven Hearst today yeah. It is an addicting game. Will be going for cell group in a few hours yeah. ^^
Um... Yeah, Ayrton got a new hamster so Shitbag won't be so lonely. The new hamster is also a guy and they look identical! Almost like twins! This new one he calls Shithead.
... Yeah, I know.
Anyways, today has been progressive, yeah. Alright, gonna go do more drawings yeah. ^^
Posted by B at 1:13 AM
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
110608
Today was fun. Fong and Chloe came over and we had a really, really nice chat with one another. For once, I was actually getting along with Fong.The camp was tonight. But today, Licole and Lindsay came over and I had to look after them so... No camp for me...
But I did have fun with Fong and Chloe. They said maybe they'll be coming again next week. ^^
Posted by B at 12:18 AM
Sunday, June 8, 2008
080608
This past week has been... wonderful. It was like... God was talking to me. I'm sure lots of people have noticed but for the past month or so, I had been skipping church. Partly due to illnesses but partly also because it became a duty and no longer a delight.During cell group on Friday, Cynthia preached a message about God talking to us. She kept using the phrase which I had come to use recently. "Duty, not delight."
The entire message just jumped out at me.
During the altar call yesterday, Pastor said that there might be some who may not have backslid yet, but is close. He again used the phrase, duty and delight. Saying that some of us have felt that church has become a duty and not a delight.
Joshua invited me to go down for the altar call and we did with Ayron also.
It was so... nostalgic being down there again. And then bam, I suddenly felt this want to pray. To just rush home and pray.
I stayed on for fellowship. Then after a while, Joel and I decided to go. So he and I left. Joel was, in his words, a gentleman stayed on with me at the bus stop until my bus came. He finally convinced me to just take 242 since 99 wasn't appearing.
But while waiting for the bus, he and I had a nice chat. He said the goverment had sent him a letter saying he was gonna be a police man!! He was a bit disappointed though... He said he wanted to be a soldier, not a police man... Oh wells... That was 3 months ago though, he seems to be finally accepting it! ^^
Posted by B at 2:06 PM
060808
Cheng Keat... 125 questions?! AW MAN!I finally got around to doing this quiz.
What's the connection between you and the last person who called you?
She's my mom.
Do you ever turn your handphone off?
Nope.
What happened at 10AM yesterday?
I was sleeping. Woke up at 11 only...
When did you last cry?
...
What is your favourite thing to eat with peanut butter?
I don't eat peanut butter.
What do you want in your life now?
To be more creative
Do you carry an umbrella or do you just put up your hood if it rains?
Hood and a cap. Umbrella is like so common!
What's your favourite thing on your bed?
PILLOW!
What bottom are you wearin now?
Loose-fitting track pants.
What's the nicest SMS you have in your inbox?
"Welcome man!love u!"
I was thanking him for a gift he gave me and that's his reply. To save him from embarassment, I shall not reveal his identity. XD
Do you tend to make relationships difficult?
How should I know? I've never even been in a relationship. But if I was, I would say no.
Are you wearing anything you borrowed?
Nope.
What was the last movie you caught?
Narnia, Prince Caspian.
Anything you're proud of?
My knowledge of technology and being able to fix them when something goes haywire.
What does your oldest SMS say and when did you receive it?
"363 Fashionista: Please start asking friends for this coming Saturday's Wii challenge! It will start at 5:30pm, Jurong West Church. So far we have ZERO friends."
May 14th. BUT, in the end, we did have some friends fo the Wii Challenge! ^^
What was the last song you sang outloud?
Saviour King.
Do you have any nicknames?
Nopes.
What is the latest SMS you received and from who?
"I know a girl who's funny & caring, loving & sharing, mad & crazy, as sweet as a baby & a great mate & she's reading this message right now!"
From Ayrton and Jaslin. ^^
What time did you go to sleep last night?
1+
Are you currently happy?
Yup.
Do you eat whipped cream straight from the can?
If I actually ate whipped cream, yes.
Who did you talk with on the phone last night?
I didn't talk to anyone on the phone last night.
Is anything bugging you right now?
Yes. The fact that I'm only at question 24 and still have 101 questions to go... Grr...
Who/What was the last person/thing to make you laugh?
Um... Playing DJ Max with Jeremy last night. (We are evenly matched opponents)
Do you wear toe socks?
Nope.
Who was the last person you missed a call from?
4 missed calls from my mom just now. XD
Have you ever had you heart broken?
...
What annoys you most in a person?
The fact that they are annoying... ?
Do you currently have a crush on anyone?
No.
Have you ever done cocaine?
NO.
What is the colour of your room?
Rainbow. Because Ayrton, Jaslin and I drew on it. But primary colour would be winter green. Love that colour! ^^
Would you kill someone you hate for 1 billion dollars?
As much as I want to kill Ernest, no. XD
Do you believe in the saying "talk in cheap"?
Huh?
Who was the last person, besides yourself, to lie on your bed?
Um... Hm... I think was Ayrton. Yeah. On Wednesday.
Who was the last person to hug you?
Hau En. Yesterday. ^^
Who was the last person you kissed?
Mommy! ^^
Do you have a life?
As unbelieving at it might sound... YES!
Have you ever thought someone was dead, when they really weren't?
Um... No, can't say I have.
What is the reason behind your profile song?
I don't have one.
Who was the last person you saw in your dream?
I have no idea who it is, but it was some guy called Jake and he was in love with me.
When was the last time you smiled?
Oh, just did!
Have you changed this year?
... I don't know. Have I?
What are you listening to right now?
Hold Me Close.
Are you talking to someone while doing this quiz?
Nope. I'm totally focused! XD
Do you walk with your eyes open or closed?
Well, I have to blink don't I? So both.
Is there a quote you live by?
There are a few quotes I love, but none that I really live by.
Do you want someone you can't have?
...
Have you ever played an instrument?
Piano. Flute. Wanting to learn drums soon. ^^
What was the worst idea you had this week?
Listening to Cheng Keat and actually doing this quiz... ARGH, 75 more questions!!
What were you doing last night at 11PM?
Playing Monopoly with Ayrton, Jaslin, Jeremy and Bling.
Are you happy with your love life now?
Single and happy! ^^
What song describes your love life?
I don't know?
Does your crush know you life him/her?
(I am now saying this through gritted teeth) I. Don't. Have. A. Crush!
Who always makes you laugh?
Lots of people. Church mates, school mates.
Do you speak any other languages besides English?
A TEENSY WEENY BIT of Japanese.
Are you blonde?
Nope.
What's your middle name?
Don't have one.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Pouting, whining and sulking because I can't go for the Inspire Youth Camp!!
What do you think you are like?
...
Who would you choose to die with?
With my enemy. I don't want any of my loved ones to die. =)
Where have you been today?
Just home.
What game do you often play?
...
Who do you miss right now?
Christina, Joshua and Guo Yang(Luke)
If you had to choose between friends and your girlfriend/boyfriend, which would you choose?
... Friends.
What are you doing now?
This quiz...
Which primary school are you from?
In Lakeside Primary, we are one big happy family!
Name three colours you especially like?
Crisp winter green, beautiful sky blue and maroon.
Which emotion do you like to show?
EXCITEMENT! Because it's so fun to just let loose!
What is life to you?
A drama.
If you have something troubling you, what would you do?
... I will most probably keep it to myself and try to work it out. If I can't, I'll turn to a friend to confide in.
Who did you last chat with on MSN?
Dirge.
Who do you admire most?
My leaders in life.
Which month are you born in?
January.
How are you feeling now?
Feel great.
What is the time now?
12:48PM
Where are you now?
Singapore. ^^
What colour did you use to dye your hair?
Ayrton convinced me to dye my hair hot pink once. And then one, beautiful, beautiful brown! Temporary dyes of course!
Why are you doing this test now?
... I have absolutely no idea.
What would you do when you're anrgy at someone?
Use something to bang the wall for about 2-3 times, then lie down on the bed, scream into my pillow and then just forget about it and use the computer.
At which age do you wish to get married?
23>>
Who is more important to you, boyfriend/girlfriend or friends?
... Friends.
Do you think you have enough confidence?
Yup!
Name some friends you trust
Quite a few, yeah.
If you have only one day left to live, what would you do?
I've said it before... Pray that I can have more days to live.
If you have one dream come true, what would it be?
I've said it before also... ANIME CHARACTERS AND I TO LIVE TOGETHER LIKE ONE BIG HAPPY FAMILY!
What is your goal for this year?
To make this year be the best I've ever had!
Do you think it's stupid to do this 100+ question quiz?
For it to have over 100 questions, yes.
What feeling do you love most?
Contentment.
What feeling do you hate most?
When I'm sick.
Do you cherish every FRIENDSHIP of yours?
Yes.
Do you believe in God?
Yes.
Out of your friends, who do you think cares for you the most?
... Dirge?
What you'll bring to a fight?
I don't fight. Not anymore, at least...
What have you regretted doing your whole life?
...
How would you feel if your friends and family no longer cared for you?
Lonely.
What if your boyfriend/girlfriend two-timed you?
I don't have a boyfriend.
Love with a guarantee of heartbeak or never to be loved at all?
... I think... Never to be loved at all. I'd be single and happy.
What is your dream?
To work with animals/become an author.
Maple or Audi?
I don't play either of 'em.
Where would you go if you're bored?
Stay right at home and watch a DVD.
How many steads do you have up to now?
Zero.
Would you rather be bad or a jerk?
What difference is there?
If you had to be in a different country, where would you want to go?
Japan.
Which website would you go to if you're bored?
http://www.fanfiction.net/, http://www.deviantart.com/
If you had a chance to change your surname, what would it be?
I wouldn't wanna change it, I like the name SIM. The name is soooo popular! SIM University, the Sims, SIM card ^^
Will you snore?
I don't know if I do... But no one has ever said anything so I guess, no.
When did you last yawn?
When I woke up this morning.
Which type of handphone do you support?
Samsung. ^^
Who last spammed your blog?
It's been a while... I think it was either Lokies or Ryan.
Would you rather take bus or MRT?
MRT.
Will you drive a vehicle when you're an adult?
No, I'll have a chauffeur.
When did you start listening to chinese songs?
I don't listen to chinese songs.
You prefer english movies/shows or chinese movies/shows?
English movies. But if we're talking about SINGAPORE chinese movies/shows, then chinese definitely. With subtitles! XD
If you had a chance to learn a language besides the ones you already know, which language would it be?
Spanish.
What is the funniest ad you've ever seen?
I don't know?
Which horoscope are you?
CAPRRRIIIIIIIIICORN!
Posted by B at 12:27 PM
Thursday, June 5, 2008
050608
Today was boring...Lokies and Carol came over. Had a prayer meeting at about 7+.
It's been a while since I've been to one.
I braced myself for a talk with one of them. I knew they were gonna talk to me... About me not going to church recently.
And of course, I was right. Carol talked to me.
I have shared this problem with only on person before and now, I have 'shared' it with Carol also. =)
Heh... Good luck to me, man.
Posted by B at 10:03 PM
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
040608
Drama was productive today. Finally got to see Yee Jeng again! ^^
We just did the usual stuff. You know, we made some props, laughed out heads off. Yeah, normal stuff.
Came home to play Monopoly and Taboo with Ayrton and Jaslin. And here I am now. ^^
Posted by B at 2:10 PM
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
030608
ANOTHER quiz XDDo you know someone whose name starts with 'Z'?
Yup. Zhao Xuen. ^^
Would you go out with someone you hate?
Depends. Why would this person I hate wanna go out with me in the first place?
Do you get jealous easily?
Average.
Do you think people who look good are always good people?
Not so.
Do you like babies?
Some of 'em.
Do you always admire and crush on someone?
Nopes. For example, now, I do not have a crush on ANYBODY.
Do you get angry often?
WHAT TYPE OF STUPID QUESTION IS THIS?! MY TEMPER IS FINE! I CAN CONTROL MY TEMPER!! WHY?! DO YOU THINK I HAVE A ANGER PROBLEM?! GOT PROBLEM ISSIT?! XD
Use three words to describe yourself
Okay, here we go.
1. Dramatic (drama mama! WHOO! XD)
2. Enthusiastic (Voted most enthu of 1N2, people!!)
3. Psychological (Please agree!!)
Between a movie and shopping, which would you choose?
Movie definitely. I HATE SHOPPING. (But if in another country, saaayy... JAPAN, then shopping absolutely!)
Tag anyone who wants to do it! Go for it! ^^
Posted by B at 10:48 PM
030608
Tagged by Yuan Qi. ^^What would you do if your lover betrayed you?
I would hurt him. Bad. And then continue being friends. XD
If you could have a dream come true, what would it be?
That anime characters were real and we all lived together in one big house like one big happy family. *nod*
What are your plans for the holidays?
To do whatever I wanna do.
Are you confused of what lies ahead?
Oh yeah.
What's your ideal lover like?
Ahem. Three words; He. Doesn't. Exist. XD
Which is more blessed? Loving someone or being loved by someone?
I would have to say... Being loved by someone.
How long do you intend to wait for someone you truly love?
Only until I realize that the guy won't love me back.
If the person you secretly like is attached, what would you do?
What can I do? I'll just try to forget the guy. ^^
Is there anything in particular that makes you unhappy these days?
Yup.
Is being tagged to do quizzes fun?
Oh yeah.
How do you see yourself in 10 years?
Still a student, I suppose? If not, working part-time.
Currently, who are the most important people to you?
EVERYONE.
Do you prefer being single or attached?
Single.
Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor?
Single and rich.
What's the first thing you do every morning?
Open my eyes.
Would you give your all in a relationship?
Only if the partner gives his all.
If you fell in love with two people simultaneously, what would you do?
Forget them both.
If you're stressed, what would you do?
MP3.
Do you have a pet?
Presenting... Kino the Golden Retriever! ^^
What type of people do you dislike?
I've said it before, I'll say it again; Fakers.
Okay, done with the quiz!! ^^ I'll tag everyone on my links, kay? Do it if you want to. ^^
Posted by B at 11:48 AM
Monday, June 2, 2008
020608
Just finished watching "The Condemned" with mom. Awesome movie!! Didn't do nothing today... Computer, PSP, MP3. Same ol', same ol'. YAWNS!!Posted by B at 9:32 PM
010608 - Belonging
They didn't stop. It didn't stop. He didn't stop.They will never stop. It will never stop. He will never stop.
...
Where is that place? Seriously, where is it? I don't think a place like that actually exists. There are only places closest to becoming a belonging. Never will there be actual belonging itself.
This may seem... emo. But it is what I feel. I don't know if it's true, but it is what I feel.
So far, the place I can feel peace and solitude, is lost in my little fantasy where anime characters roam free. Or in a beautiful stance where I close my eyes and the melodious tunes reach my ears and into my mind.
My room. With my computer. With my music.
You know... I just wanna find a place where my presence makes a difference. People may say I do, but you know what? I eventually find out that they were just saying it to make me feel better on missing out.
I... Haven't found a place like that. And... When I'm sick and I have to miss school, I return to school, people say: "the past few days were quiet without you." I know they're lying.
Because more classmates say: "Wa lao!! You missed out on yesterday lar!! During geog class, everybody more noisy than usual leh!"
My classmates mean a lot to me. I just don't know if I mean a lot to them. I suppose that's a problem with me? I end up getting more attached to people than those people to me...
Will things change?
Will they stop? Will it stop? Will he stop?
Posted by B at 12:15 AM
Sunday, June 1, 2008
010608
Tagged by Cheng Keat.I like to:
1. Fix jigsaw puzzles
2. Slack
3. Write fanfiction
4. Read fanfiction
5. Look for art on deviantart.com
6. Go on family outings/vacations
7. Play my brand new PSP! ^^
8. Listen to music
9. Watch Anime. One in particular, Naruto. ^^
10. Have fun.
